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Author's Biography: Barbara Wilder

Barbara Wilder is a passionate writer, speaker, and advocate for healing through faith. Her latest work, "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted," draws deeply from her own journey through heartbreak and despair, offering a compassionate guide for those seeking solace and restoration. 

She faced significant challenges as an adult—navigating  through cycles of toxic relationships that left her feeling lost and disheartened. After years grappling with emotional turmoil, she experienced a profound transformation when she rediscovered her Christian faith. This pivotal moment became the catalyst for healing that not only changed her life but inspired her to help others do the same.

Barbara’s writing is imbued with authenticity; she shares candidly about her struggles while weaving in biblical wisdom that resonates with readers facing similar trials. Through "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted," she offers practical advice coupled with heartfelt poetry that captures the emotional landscape of heartbreak—creating an intimate connection between herself and the readers.

In addition to being an author, Barbara is actively involved in speaking engagements where she shares her testimony of resilience and redemption. She believes passionately in creating safe spaces for individuals to explore their own stories while discovering God’s transformative love.

She resides in Los Angeles, where she continues to be an active member of her church community.

Through "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted," Barbara Wilder extends an invitation to all who feel trapped by heartache: there is hope beyond your pain; there is love waiting to embrace you again. Her unwavering belief in God’s promise serves as both comfort and encouragement—a reminder that every broken heart can find its way home again through faith.

 

 

 

Book Summary: "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted"

In "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted," readers embark on a transformative journey from heartbreak to healing, guided by heartfelt reflections and inspired by Christian faith. This self-help guide is designed for those navigating the stormy seas of emotional pain, offering solace and hope through its engaging narrative and beautifully crafted poetry.

The book opens with a compassionate understanding of heartbreak's profound impact, acknowledging the feelings of loss, despair, and confusion that often accompany troubled relationships. Through captivating storytelling, the author shares personal experiences and insights that resonate deeply with readers who may feel isolated in their struggles.

Each chapter serves as a love letter—a powerful reminder that they are not alone in their suffering. These letters encapsulate themes of grace, forgiveness, and restoration as they encourage readers to lean into their faith during times of distress. The motivational narration is enriched with biblical wisdom and real-life examples that demonstrate how God’s love can mend broken hearts.

Interwoven throughout are poignant poems that express raw emotions—grief mingled with hope—that allow readers to connect on an intimate level. The lyrical verses serve as both comfort and inspiration, capturing the essence of healing through creativity while inviting reflection on one's own journey.

As readers progress through "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted," they will find practical guidance and spiritual exercises aimed at rekindling their faith amidst heartache. The book emphasizes rebuilding one's identity in Christ, embracing vulnerability as strength, and finding purpose even in pain.

Ultimately, this guide offers more than just consolation; it invites transformation by encouraging individuals to open themselves up to divine love once again. With empathy at its core, "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted" stands as a beacon of light for anyone seeking restoration from grief—reminding them that every heartbreak can be a stepping stone towards deeper faith and renewed hope in God's plan.

 

 

Reviews

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​​Press Releases:

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Barbara Wilder Reclaims Her Faith and Heals Through Powerful New Book ‘Love Letters to the Brokenhearted’
betterauds.com

In a world often marred by personal upheaval and emotional strife, the journey back to faith can be a lifeline. For many, trauma—especially stemming from relationships—can dismantle the very foundations of trust and hope. Yet, as Barbara Wilder has discovered through her own trials, embracing faith again is not merely an act of belief; it is a crucial step towards healing and rejuvenation.

Wilder’s latest work, “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted,” emerges from this profound understanding. It serves not just as a collection of letters but as an earnest testament to the transformative power of faith in Jesus Christ amidst despair. Her own narrative—a patchwork of childhood challenges and heart-wrenching separations—provides both context and credibility to her message.

Reflecting on her past traumas, Wilder acknowledges how they shaped her sense of self before she found solace in a newfound relationship with Jesus. “It was like everything I thought I knew was turned upside down,” she explains vividly. However, an encounter with divine love became the turning point: “When I opened my heart to Jesus, suddenly everything started falling into place.” This moment catalyzed not only her recovery but also sparked a creative outpouring that would lead to her book.

“Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” offers more than mere platitudes; it captures Wilder’s evolution from suffering to spiritual renewal. Each chapter acts as both comfort and counsel for readers facing their own struggles—an invitation entwined with scripture that encourages reflection during dark times. “My healing journey has become intertwined with helping others heal,” says Wilder passionately about what fuels her writing process.

The essence of Wilder’s message resonates deeply within Christian circles currently seeking authentic avenues for emotional support amid life’s inevitable trials. She argues vehemently for the necessity of reestablishing one’s relationship with God after heartbreak: “Only through Jesus can we find true restoration,” she insists unequivocally.

“Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” serves as a profound resource for those seeking to rebuild their faith after experiencing heartbreak. Through heartfelt reflections and relatable narratives, the book provides a comforting reminder that healing is a journey—one that intertwines love, loss, and spiritual growth.

Wilder exemplifies resilience—not just through penning these letters but also by embodying them in action; they serve as touchstones leading back toward grace-filled connections beyond human comprehension yet so vital nonetheless! Her unwavering commitment illuminates how even after trauma —healing remains possible when one cultivates genuine faith anew alongside powerful truths rooted deep within scripture!

Now available on Amazon, Barbara Wilder’s “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” promises inspiration steeped richly in compassion—a beckoning call inviting all who find themselves lost or broken-hearted towards rediscovery via Christ’s infinite love! Whether seasoned believers or those still questioning their path forward—the book stands ready at hand offering solace borne forth through shared experiences tethered firmly together by hope everlasting!

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‘Love Letters To The Brokenhearted’: Barbara Wilder’s Testament of Faith and Healing
bitgog.com

In a world besieged by emotional upheaval and the relentless quest for meaning, Barbara Wilder’s “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” stands as a luminous testament to the enduring strength of the human spirit. This work transcends mere poetic anthology; it is a  heartfelt chronicle chronicling the trials of believers grappling with echoes of childhood trauma, feelings of abandonment, and the tangled webs woven by complex relationships. Wilder’s path to authorship emerges from the depths of her own tumultuous past. Like many who have traversed emotional minefields, she faced overwhelming heartache that threatened to engulf her. In those shadowy hours—when despair loomed fiercely—Wilder found solace in poetry, transforming her anguish into art. “Writing became my refuge,” she confides in interviews reflecting on her creative odyssey. “Through each verse, I began piecing together the shreds of my shattered self. In life, we often experience wounds in our relationships with others—whether through misunderstandings, betrayals, or simply the pain that comes with being human. These wounds can leave deep scars, but they also provide opportunities for growth and healing. The most transformative and healing relationship, however, is the one we cultivate with Jesus Christ. In His presence, we find unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness, which restores us in ways no human relationship can.”

The rich tapestry against which these letters unfold reveals their innate power. Drawing upon personal tribulations that echo with universal resonance—heartbreaks wrought from fractured connections or haunting isolation stemming from unresolved past hurts—her words embody both suffering and hope. She beckons readers into an intimate sanctuary where vulnerability intersects with divine love.

At its essence, “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” serves as both an exploration of pain and an open invitation toward healing through faith in Jesus Christ. Wilder’s narrative arc mirrors a transformative journey: descending into darkness only to emerge renewed—a reclamation not merely of faith but also self-worth firmly rooted in God’s grace.

Discussing this evolution, Wilder speaks passionately about rekindling her relationship with Jesus—a figure who metamorphosed from distant abstraction into a comforting presence akin to a father welcoming his wandering child back home. Her message is resounding: true healing flourishes when we allow faith to saturate every corner of our existence.
For those familiar with Christian doctrine, these themes resonate profoundly within biblical teachings—the notion that surrendering one’s burdens opens pathways illuminated by divine mercy reverberates deeply across communities and denominations alike. Thus, “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” does more than dispense therapeutic wisdom; it anchors these insights within scriptural truths designed for spiritual maturation.

Wilder meticulously structures each chapter as affirmations intended not only for solitary reflection but also for communal sharing among fellow seekers yearning for comfort amid life’s inevitable tempests—a reminder that we are never truly alone even when isolation looms heavy or abandonment threatens our very sense of worthiness.

Moreover, at its fundamental core—the book shines light on breaking free from toxic cycles instigated by unresolved trauma; patterns reverberating across generations often manifesting through dysfunctional relationships steeped in insecurity or fear-based attachments embedded deep within one’s psyche—but there lies potential transformation awaiting discovery once individuals confront these entrenched patterns armed with newfound wisdom gleaned directly from scripture alongside powerful prose!

In conclusion: “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” is far more than another self-help tome crowding bookshelves—it proudly claims its place among essential additions any Christian library should embrace! With compassion intricately woven through every page alongside profound theological grounding reflecting truths interlaced throughout life—all skillfully entwined creates an experience readers will carry close to their hearts! For anyone grappling with heartache seeking direction amidst chaos yearning for restoration—a reminder awaits them here—that love itself can guide them home again through these tender letters penned so lovingly by Barbara Wilder!

 

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Local Author Barbara Wilder Discusses Her New Book ‘Love Letters To The Brokenhearted’

PAXJONES.com

Barbara Wilder’s odyssey from the depths of heartbreak to the heights of healing has found its expression in her new book, “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted.” Emerging from a life marked by personal struggles and hard-won triumphs over adversity, Wilder’s written work extends a lifeline to those navigating the often-turbulent waters of emotional distress.

In a recent conversation that delved into her motivations and insights, she articulated the genesis of her book. “Much of my poetry found its voice during my darkest hours,” she recounted thoughtfully. After rediscovering her faith in Jesus—a rekindling that forged a deeper connection—Wilder felt an undeniable pull during prayer to reshape her artistic expressions into something more beneficial for others. “As my heart healed, I was compelled to write verses and commentary focused on the healing power of Jesus Christ” she noted, marking this evolution as pivotal; it laid the groundwork for “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted,” which aims not just to console but to uplift readers grappling with despair back toward faith.

Wilder posits that this book resonates deeply because it addresses universal experiences—heartbreak being foremost among them. She reflected on how many people find themselves ensnared in relationship choices that echo unresolved childhood traumas. Through embracing Jesus as a father figure— a transformative revelation for Wilder—she uncovered pathways toward healing that transcend the all-too-common cycles of toxic relationships so prevalent today.

“I hope this book empowers individuals to break free from those negative patterns,” said Wilder with palpable conviction. “Finding Christ has been nothing short of transformational; He provided me with the love and support essential for true healing.” Each letter within her compilation serves as not merely prose but an invitation—a beckoning call towards reflection and reconnection with God’s mercy and grace—as Wilder endeavors to guide readers back onto their journeys toward spiritual fulfillment.

The imperative nature of returning one’s heart to Jesus cannot be overstated in Wilder’s view. For anyone grappling with heartache or trauma, finding solace through faith is critical: “When we allow ourselves to be led by Him instead of our past pains or mistakes—we open ourselves not only up to healing but also genuine growth.”

As anticipation continues building around the release, readers are eager for access points where they can procure “Love Letters To The Brokenhearted.” Currently available through Amazon, there are aspirations on Wilder’s part for it soon gracing shelves in Christian bookstores nationwide—a strategic move designed explicitly to reach even more hearts yearning for encouragement amid trying times.

Through this project—and indeed throughout every facet of her existence— Barbara embodies resilience while providing practical tools others may employ along their own journeys too—her themes resonate across each page as testimonies affirming that healing remains attainable regardless how fractured one may feel at present moments.

Her passion radiates brightly—not only when discussing what inspired these letters but also reflecting an unwavering commitment towards ensuring they resonate profoundly within those who require them most: Her lived experience infuses these sentiments with authenticity; shared hardships forge connections between author and reader alike!

“Love Letters To The Brokenhearted” stands poised not simply as another self-help volume but rather emerges as an authentic dialogue centered firmly within faith-based principles emphasizing restoration via divine connections rooted ultimately in love itself—something many aspire towards yet often struggle achieving alone without external guidance or supportive resources like Barbara’s heartfelt compilation!

Given significant anticipation surrounding both its availability & potential impact upon lives affected by heartbreak everywhere—it becomes increasingly clear why believers would find immense value incorporating such poignant work into their reading lists! Get your book here: bwilder.us/books.

 

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Sample Chapters

INTRODUCTION

Chances are you were drawn to this book because you experienced
heartbreak in the near past. Maybe you received this book as a gift from someone who cares about you and wants to cheer you up during a trying time, or all you are is a hopeless romantic. Whatever the reason, we are about to embark on a journey together.

I want to come and get you, wherever you are on your heart travels, pick you up from a figuratively desolate bus stop, and hopefully lead you to a lovely path of hope and faith.

See, I used to believe that I was walking alone through this world, I felt incomplete which is why I was looking for my better half all these years. Belonging to someone felt like my life raft while I was clinging to people who turned out to be my cement shoes.

To put it mildly, I've never been one to give up easily on a relationship.

The only relationship although, I was never chasing after was a relationship with someone who was chasing after me all this time. No matter how many signs I got, I wasn’t able to break the cycle of searching for belonging and purpose in all the wrong places. I was a lonely traveler even in my marriage. Letting go of a relationship always felt like the other person’s death. Grief was my most served companion.

However, I now understand that holding on to toxic relationships in my life not only poisons my soul but also prohibits my counterparts from growth.

It was a tiring merry-go-round which eventually threw us all off our horses.

A tiring circle that so many of us are a part of, and which ultimately led me to write this book.

The good news is, as soon as we accept defeat, embrace the pain, and be grateful for the lessons, we have the opportunity to rise from it. Life's challenges serve as a tool to develop our character rather than as a means of punishment.

A diamond, once upon a time, was just a piece of carbon. Only extreme pressure and heat transformed it into a precious stone that absorbs light, breaks it apart like a prism, and disperses it into a rainbow of colors.

There is no testimony without a test. No sweeter return to your home than after a cruel, somber, and lonely journey. Just as rivers' movements create canyons following heavy rains, so too can tears carve out spaces in our souls. And through those cracks, we can allow light to shine through us.

Whether you consider yourself a believer or not, this book is for you. I want to share my story, rooted in personal experiences that have profoundly shaped my life, including my encounter with Christ. My journey has not always been straightforward; there have been moments of doubt, struggle, and even times when my faith felt distant.

If you haven't yet experienced any form of faith, or if you once held onto it dearly but have since lost that connection, please don’t feel intimidated. This book is not just for those who already believe; it’s for anyone seeking understanding, healing, or a glimmer of hope.

Through the pages, you will find comfort and encouragement, resonating with the universal human experience of longing for something greater. My hope is that, regardless of where you stand on your own journey, this book will inspire you to reflect, heal, and perhaps rekindle a sense of wonder and hope within your heart. You are not alone, and there is always a path toward renewal.

What I have realized over the years is that God has been the steady rock underneath my feet during all these difficult times, whether I was aware of it or not. Whether I prayed or forgot about him, even in times when I had difficulties believing at all.

When things aren't going our way, it's easy to lose sight of our faith.

I hope this book serves as a reminder that there is a light waiting at the end, even in the darkest tunnels. Although God won't stop disappointments from occurring to us, he will hold our hands and guide us through the valley of the shadow of death.

“ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

 

Fast Love

I fall in love with people too fast. I see their beauty, I feel their pain, I long for their heartbeat,
And I want to restrain.

But as soon as I see the broken in you,
I want to fix it and make something new,
Fill in the cracks with golden patterns,
Till I give myself away and drag the moon near Saturn.

And with my tears, I am filling your cup Until I run out of water before I retract.
I see your uniqueness,
I believe in your goals,

You’ve never tried to accomplish. But for me,
You’re always whole.
 

THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC

A warrior of love, entering combat only to continually sacrifice themselves.

They conquer the seven seas and seven mountains for their hopelessly devoted others and rip their heart out until they bleed out in an ocean of never-ending love and never-dying despair. They fall in love with the darkness of others and secretly wish that they will reward them by falling back in love with their shadows. They seek true love—a classic beauty-and-the-beast story where the beast transforms into a shining prince through the unconditional love of the princess, and afterward, he rewards her with prosperity for her selfless act.

I am sorry to say this, but I am now convinced that, as a hopeless romantic, you’re setting yourself up for something that’s not meant for you. You’re fighting a battle that even if you’ve won hundreds of them, you still would have lost the war.

In our lives, we can form both horizontal and vertical relationships. The worldly relationships are the horizontal ones. Relationships we have with other people, our family, our friends, the relationship with our goals, the things we‘re passionate about or which make us happy, and so on. These horizontal relationships are the spices of life.

The vertical relationships that we can choose to engage in are those with God. This vertical relationship is our food. If we put the spices of the world first and make them the center of our nourishment, we will undoubtedly starve ourselves.

No matter where we look for belonging and purpose without focusing on the source, we will never be satisfied.

And as more as I continued this vertical relationship, a relationship with Jesus, I began to realize what he meant when he said that the only well that will ever satisfy thirst is the living water he gives and that it will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

In the past, I’ve made so many people and dreams my universe that I forgot about the one who created all of it in the first place. And by abandoning God, I abandoned myself.

I became someone who “wants to be,” forgetting who I already was. The truth is, I always was loved and I always belonged.

I understood that with him by my side, I was able to rise above my own shadows. His presence embraced me so tightly that demons could no longer exist inside of me. And when he came back for me and cleaned my house, how couldn’t I take care of it in the future? If he would cast demons out of my home, how could I continue inviting other people's demons into it again? Our heart is a castle, gifted by the Almighty and we should refuse to set the table for the demons of others, who all wear filthy shoes and don’t appreciate what we prepared so carefully. A loving father hasn’t given us these precious hearts to let others stomp over them and then weep over the remaining devastation. I started to choose my guests carefully, considering how a loving father would choose them for me.

When you recognize the treasure that was given to you, you will understand your responsibility to lock the door twice and safeguard what you received.

God reminded me that he put a light into each of us to shine in his name.
If we let others dim our light, we all will be sitting in the dark.

My father gave me this heart to protect it and take good care of it, so I can use it to serve him.

That was the beginning for me of becoming a faithful romantic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SURRENDER IN DEVOTION

It’s so easy to get lost again and again when times are hard, when things don’t work out as we hoped, and whenever we find ourselves again starting over. It’s hard to still hold on, forget the worries, and just be reassured that God has a plan. I don’t want to make assumptions about you but personally, I always struggled with real faith. I used to get so accustomed to planning and controlling my life, and I tried again and again to conquer the same steep paths, even though I knew deep down that this was only going to lead to exhaustion, worry, and sadness.

It’s easy to be grateful and expect the best when miracles are happening for us but in times of still, it’s hard to stay patient. And I found myself arguing with God, doubting his plan, I was weary of committing to the righteous path because the other way seemed like a much easier option. It was hard to obey which meant controlling my emotions even though all I wanted to do was shout, run, or chase. We can read a million stories about how others held on to God and about their success against all odds, but when it comes to even the smallest things in our lives, it’s suddenly hard to just hold still and follow directions.

But faith isn’t believing when things come easy. Faith isn’t worshipping on a good day when things go our way. Faith isn’t just acknowledging that there is a higher power existing. Faith is to obey even though we don’t understand the meaning.

"Obedience means not eating something that looks really good if you are told not to."

Faith is a trust fall. It wouldn’t be a trust fall without the possibility to get hurt but faith is trusting to be caught before you hit the floor. There is no trust walk without the possibility of getting lost but accepting being led anyway. A trust walk is blind.

And who would you trust your life rather than the creator of the universe who not only knows all paths but created them in the first place? People are funny trusting all sorts of things they have no proof about. They trust in blowing some sage smoke to guide their demons out. They trust a few stones in the water and around their necks to protect them. They trust some hobby astrologists and psychics to tell them their future. They trust to improve their well-being with sound clouds and energy rituals. All these things are an attempt to run from faith. These things are easier to pursue because they are controlled by us. We take something, do something with it, and believe something will happen. It’s the opposite of surrendering to God’s will and direction.

If you believe in spiritual things, which I don’t doubt either, how can you dismiss the creation you’re surrounded by? And if you get a glimpse of the complexity of the creation, then how can you deny the creator? Where else would you have to go rather than to the one who created all of it and therefore has every answer you’ll ever get, every power and every authority? The only thing he asks in return is to trust. To have faith and not follow your own understanding. Faith that he leads you through the fire and allows you to walk on water. It’s arrogance to think that we know more than the one who created the universe with no point of reference while we have trouble explaining the majority of it. We tend to listen to people who admittedly have maybe more knowledge than us in certain areas of science but we dismiss their- all our -short sight of humanity. We act like ants, running our errands, listening to some of us trying to explain our existence. We were given the miraculous line of communication with the source of all knowledge, but we so often chose to trust the ridiculously small in comparison—our own understanding—instead. Considering how foolish we’re acting, I can only imagine the amount of love God must have for us to not have given up on us by now.

So, why does God allow so much trouble in the first place? I believe we’re not on earth to not get dirty. This is a messy place. A person who fails to recognize their own darker aspects because they haven’t been through hardship and behaves kindly simply because that’s all they know cannot truly be considered a good person. They are merely acting from what they know, not what they have chosen. In contrast, someone who has confronted the darkness and pain of humanity, who has grappled with despair, and still chooses again to act with goodness embodies true virtue. This is the kind of person we all should aspire to be—not one who ignores suffering, but someone who takes that pain and transforms it into action. We don’t admire those who are unaware of their potential or the full range of human experience; rather, we respect those who have faced their demons and emerged stronger. This is the essence of hero narratives: heroes descend into “hell” and then rise again. It’s this journey that earns our admiration and respect. If we fail to acknowledge our own capacity for darkness and the strength it takes to rise above it, we are not honoring our true selves or our potential.

Through our challenges, we not only discover our own but have the opportunity to discover God.

You loved the careless, the clumsy and you chased after them when they ran, you waited patiently for their return . You hoped for rain in a desert.

I pray that from now on, you love yourself more than that because you know that you are loved. I pray that you don’t feel bitterness remembering these long nights when your heart beat out of your chest
because God will heal your wounds and restore your lost years. I pray

for your restless enemies as they’re put in your life to find forgiveness.

I pray that you find the power to release what can’t be washed away by water, all the tar of your soul. I pray for you to see yourself in God’s eyes one day.

 

The Shepherd

Once upon a time, I wore my darkest dress To a battle that felt like a game of chess.
I lost my shoes,
They were full of blood,

It must have been the rocks that cut Into the cracks on my sole.

Sadness was placed on my face, like some unpleasant mole, The sun was burning my shoulders as I walked,
The dryness was numbing my voice when I talked.
I was dirty and in rough shape,

But you didn’t care,
You welcomed me with a smile, and you said we were square.

You treated me like a lost diamond,
And only heaven knows,
I wasn’t more than just a stone on an island. Through your grace, miracles are done for me, I want to open my eyes only for you to see.

For the one who healed the blind,
I can’t comprehend your nature,
Being so overwhelmingly kind To a torn up wager. You walked back for me,

 

You left the herd out there waiting, You crossed all these mountains And it wasn’t you berating-me.

You never asked why I got lost.

It’s a concept which still brings tears to my eyes, You brought the truth and healed these lies. When I wake up in the morning,
The first thing which comes to my mind

Is to praise your glory, as I am defined.

Who am I?
I am not worthy of your breath,
But you still came for me and saved me from a certain death. How could I ever repay you?
I can’t, but I will follow,
To any land, knowing you’ll never leave me hollow. Underneath your wings, I finally grow,
Your gentle hand leads me to an understanding
I otherwise would never know.

 

EPILOGUE

After having written this book, I want to leave you with this. The spirit of abandonment left me desperate for belonging for many years. In hindsight, I know that all I ever wanted was to create what I thought I had lost forever. Family. And there was another spirit who misled me during my travels. The spirit of self-doubt. My mindset was driven by a deep-seated feeling of not being good enough. I thought if my father had abandoned me and hadn’t seen my value, I had to prove my value to someone else. I thought if I would just accept every betrayal, every attack, every abandonment and still belong to them, I could not only save them but myself. In despair to prove the loyalty I’ve never gotten from the one I longed for the most, I threw myself into a fire that burned me over and over again. I didn’t know that it’s not my place to fix broken people and how could I have even been able to do so, having been very broken myself. Truly, I admit that every time I cared for someone else’s wounds, I was hoping someone would do the same for me in return. By trying to treat others like I wanted to be treated by trying to heal others, I tried to heal myself. I was taken aback that I never received the care I was looking for, neither the gratitude nor the acknowledgment I’d so desperately longed for. I was wondering how could they have been so blind to my efforts. I remember crying out many times that if I would just have one person in my life who cared for me like I cared for them, I would be forever thankful. I was waiting for gratitude from people who would be blind to my worth because they were blind to their own.

One day, I encountered a woman who helped me to understand that the lack of care I received from my father wasn’t a display of my value but rather a display of his capabilities of caring in general. His failure to be a protective father wasn’t personal. It had nothing to do with me. I could have been anybody else and he would have provided the same care or lack thereof to any child in my position. I know that may seem obvious now but at that moment, this was a real revelation for me considering that all these years I didn’t feel valuable enough to the core, because he failed to care for and protect me. And even if that opened me up to a rational understanding of my situation and put a bandage on my wound of abandonment, I still couldn’t apply this knowledge to dealing with the relationships I was entertaining in my life at the time. I was still seeking the same care from others that my father wasn’t capable of giving to me. Every relationship was an encounter with my father who betrayed me and I was living in hopes for a different outcome again and again. What did I do wrong? I never gave up hope, I moved on from one partner to another, not realizing that I might change partners, but I didn't change the circle of incompatible candidates.

There was something in the body language, the way they carried themselves, something in the eyes of people I fell in love with. I was instinctively drawn to something familiar. A familiar behavior, choice of words, a familiar way how these people carried themselves.

Children raised in an abusive environment end up in toxic relationship patterns. We tend to gravitate towards people who remind us of what we associate with “home.”

Today, I know that by choosing men with similar behavior patterns as my father, I was trying to impress my father over and over again in every single relationship. Not literally, but in every relationship I tried to prove my worth by being what I longed for so badly but have rarely received. Choosing relationships with people who showed similar behavior patterns to my mother, let me drown in the illusion that I could save them from themselves. While I was chasing people who didn’t want to be found, I was trying to prove that there was value in my rescue mission and that I too was worth fighting for only to get disappointed repeatedly. Do you realize the major circle and error in my thought process by now?

I was trying to be small enough by not speaking my mind, I was trying to be big enough to speak the right words, I was trying to hold on even when they let go, I was trying to hear more than they said, I tried to see their reasons, I tried to accept their weakness by making myself weak, by making myself strong and rise above them to be able to offer a hand, I tried to laugh, I tried to cry, I tried it all until I found myself broken on the kitchen floor, trying to numb the pain from the weight I carried which was never meant for me to carry in the first place.

Deep inside, I was still just that kid. That kid which tried to carry the weight of her parents. But this weight is too much to carry for children. And it’s hard for children to grow up without guidance and without the right role models.

While I thought I’d be all grown up, traveling the world, as much as I thought my wounds had long scared over, as much as I thought I was able to pull all the baggage, one thing I forgot completely, like it would have never ever existed. My true self.

I wasn’t taught to care about my feelings, I wasn’t taught to protect my heart, to choose wisely, and to choose the best for myself. I was taught that I wasn’t good enough for parental protection, that my innocence wasn’t worth protecting, that people leave all the time when things get too uncomfortable for them, and that I still have to pull myself up, forgive, and move on until I find the next person who needs me. And the ones who didn’t need me but wanted me were repeatedly dismissed by me. I mistook their healthy independence as dismissal only to get involved with people who dismissed me because they weren’t capable of seeing my value. A self-inflicted vicious cycle.

Until one day, Jesus caught up to me. I can only imagine that he must have been really sick of me still torturing myself after having been blessed with all these lessons I refused to learn and they should have been enough for me to change my ways but I failed repeatedly. The truth is that I needed to find Jesus to find myself again. I am not anyone’s savior, I have a savior. It was never my place to even attempt impossible tasks but let my God work the impossible for me.

I always had a father, God my father, who protected me even if I didn’t recognize it, even though I was too caught up in worldly matters but my relationship with him. There is true comfort in recognizing that Jesus is all we need; it transforms how we approach our relationship decisions, shifting our perspective from one of lack to one of abundance.

He revealed to me the depth of His love, leaving me breathless. If there’s one thing I pray for, it’s that you come to realize his love at some point in your life. He never gave up on me, regardless of the many poor choices I made and the countless times I sinned—often without even realizing it. Before I met Him, I thought I was a righteous person. Now, having learned from His teachings, I understand that I probably wouldn’t have saved myself, yet He chose to save me anyway. The forgiveness I experienced from Jesus is a level of grace that I could never have offered to anyone not even myself.

The one I abandoned, the one I betrayed the most, the one I only called when I needed Him, came after me. The one who would have had every reason to turn His back on me was hunting after me, while I was ignoring Him in my pursuit of others.

If that isn’t the most fatherly, self-sacrificing thing to do, then I don’t know.

And through this display of love, my heart got filled with gratitude and he gave me my self-worth again. After all these years, everything I was searching for was right here.

"But why did it take so long to be found?” I asked. Only the brokenhearted can speak to the broken hearts at one eye level, All of them who have hurt me have been me. They have been in the same lost forests because that’s where I met them. They have been the same children running around guardian-less. The truth is that they were as lost as I was. They gave me pain because they were hurting. I didn’t encounter monsters, I encountered monsters occupying people who encountered my monsters.

We all shared the same ocean. The same ocean of abandoned children trying to make each other better by putting salt in each other’s wounds. So, why did God allow me to get stranded at this metaphorical place? Perhaps it's because you must walk alongside the outcast, sharing in their struggle, to truly recognize their worth.—and even more than that. When you learn to forgive those who betrayed you, it shows that you can approach life with both compassion and a deeper understanding of your own shortcomings.

Nobody was ever truly moved by judgement. But you can touch people’s hearts when you’re on their level. When I speak to you, I speak to you from one brokenhearted to another. And I hope that’s why you can hear me. My words would fall shallow if I had never longed for the things you are longing for desperately, if I hadn’t walked the same lonely paths, or if I had never made the same mistakes.

I don’t lean on my own understanding anymore. God already had a plan for us before we were born. So, even without knowing the WHY, I am committed to it—to commit to God’s plan. Jesus made me see this world in a brighter light. I learned to love others and myself more than I could have ever imagined possible, and that’s the truth. How blessed I am.

I wish for you to wake up tomorrow and feel God’s love and because of His love for you, you can rediscover a deeper love for yourself.

 

 

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Q&A with Barbara Wilder, Author of "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted"
 

​Q: What inspired you to write "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted"?

A: The inspiration behind "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted" came from my own journey through heartbreak and trauma. I realized that many people struggle with similar feelings of despair and loneliness. I wanted to create a guide that combines my personal experiences with biblical wisdom, offering hope and encouragement to those navigating their own painful paths. The poetry in the book serves as a heartfelt expression of these emotions, making it relatable and soothing.

 

Q: Was it easy for you to write this book?

A: Not at all! While some poems flowed easily from my darkest moments, I didn’t want this book to come off as self-pitying. My goal was to create something uplifting and helpful for readers, but I wasn’t sure how to turn those darker poems into a message of hope. I realized I needed to be transformed by God first. Whenever I felt lost, God encouraged me to keep writing. Not only did He guide me in creating a healing book for others, but He also healed me in the process. Though I didn’t fully understand the journey at first, God fulfilled His promise and helped me create something I couldn’t have done alone.
 

Q: Can you tell us more about your personal struggles that shaped this book?

A: Certainly. I've faced cycles of toxic relationships that left me feeling lost and broken. For years, I wrestled with feelings of unworthiness and confusion about my identity in Christ. It wasn't until I rediscovered my faith—through prayer, community support, and deep reflection—that everything started to change for me. This healing process is what I share in the book; it's a testament to how God can transform our pain into purpose.
 

Q: How do you integrate poetry into your narrative? Why was this important for you?

A: Poetry allows me to convey emotions in a way that's often deeper than prose can achieve alone. Each poem is thoughtfully placed alongside the narration to capture specific moments or feelings related to heartbreak—offering readers not just understanding but also an emotional release. It's important because it creates an intimate experience; readers can feel what I felt during those dark times while also finding solace in shared vulnerability.
 

Q: What do you hope readers take away from your book?

A: My greatest hope is that readers will find comfort and encouragement through their struggles. Heartbreak can be isolating, but it's essential to remember they are not alone on this journey. "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted" offers practical insights alongside spiritual guidance rooted in faith—encouraging individuals to embrace their pain while finding strength in their relationship with Jesus.

Q: How does your faith play a role in overcoming heartbreak?

A: Faith has been my anchor throughout every storm I've faced—the guiding light leading me back when I'd wandered off course. Through prayer, scripture study, and supportive community connections, I've learned that God’s love transcends all heartache; it provides healing even when we can't see it at first glance. Sharing this aspect of my journey reinforces how crucial faith is during challenging times—it’s where true restoration begins.

Q: What advice would you give someone currently experiencing heartbreak?

A: First off, allow yourself to feel all emotions without shame—they're valid! Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends or loved ones who uplift you spiritually or emotionally; connection is vital during tough periods like these! Lastly, lean into your faith; spend time praying or reading scripture daily—even if just one verse—to remind yourself of God's unwavering love amidst turmoil.

Q: What's next for Barbara Wilder after releasing "Love Letters for the Brokenhearted"?

A: I'm excited about continuing my speaking engagements where I'll share more about resilience through trials—and possibly exploring new writing projects centered around themes like forgiveness or self-acceptance within our journeys toward healing! Most importantly though—I’m committed wholeheartedly toward serving others as they find their own paths back home through Jesus’ love!

 

 

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